Too fucking right we are. This is the internet not the 1640's!!! Get with the times people! Blogger.com is history, consigned the digital depths along with Encarta and Chase HQ.
The future is here and its called tumblr.com and you will find the quite simply bigger, bolder and better Beavers Agogo at www.beaversagogo.tumblr.com
When you see it you will not want to visit anywhere else.
Its been emotional, See you on the otherside!
Love The Beavers Agogo Team xox LOLZ
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Friday 6 March 2009
"Windy-assgate"
No not a scandal involving loose bowels kids! Something far more disgusting than that. Dean Windass apparently spitting out his dummy and crying like a baby on his ITV blog. Well he calls it a "blog", but me and Agogo call it a "fucking waste of time."
Anyway the issue here is not Windass playing his part in the collapse of ITV, it is the controversy surrounding who wrote the blasphemous bile in his latest entry. Was it the man himself (Windy to his chums) or his ghost writer? A mystery indeed. Luckily for you here at BeaversAgogo we managed to pull a few strings and got hold of the CCTV footage of Windass and his ghost writer Nade Sawsdin meeting up to discuss what was to go in the blog and the transcript below makes some interesting reading:
Nade: Heyyy! Its the Assmaster himself! Check it!
Windy: Reet!
Nade:What shall we put in your blog this week then Windy my old boy?
Windy: I Say, Chuff Chuff Chuff 'ull Duck Chuff Tigers Chuff Chuff Chuffing Reet Gud Down Chuffing Stirs Chuffing Puddin' int Chuffin 'ull Chuff Yarkshire Bloody Chuff Duck, Booferry Puddin' Chuff Chuff!
Nade: Golden, just Golden, as always Winster. Anything more to say?
Windy: FOOKIN CHUFF DUCKS!
Nade: I hear ya Assman, the fucking A grade material never ceases my friend. I will have it written up and live by tomorrow! Cya Windy! Keep Fresh!
Windy: CHUFF BISCUITS!
Well as you can see controversial stuff. I can see where Nade may have got the wrong end of the stick. You have seen the evidence so we will let you draw your own conclusions to this sorded affair.
Stay tuned for an update on our thoughts at BeaversAgogo on the season so far. We will also try and take a sneak peak into the future and give you our thoughts on how we think the season will pan out. Until then take care, safe in the knowledge that unlike some of the sorry excuse for blogger's out there on the World Wide Web, your dosage of beavers always comes from the horses mouth!
Au Revoir!
I x
Anyway the issue here is not Windass playing his part in the collapse of ITV, it is the controversy surrounding who wrote the blasphemous bile in his latest entry. Was it the man himself (Windy to his chums) or his ghost writer? A mystery indeed. Luckily for you here at BeaversAgogo we managed to pull a few strings and got hold of the CCTV footage of Windass and his ghost writer Nade Sawsdin meeting up to discuss what was to go in the blog and the transcript below makes some interesting reading:
Nade: Heyyy! Its the Assmaster himself! Check it!
Windy: Reet!
Nade:What shall we put in your blog this week then Windy my old boy?
Windy: I Say, Chuff Chuff Chuff 'ull Duck Chuff Tigers Chuff Chuff Chuffing Reet Gud Down Chuffing Stirs Chuffing Puddin' int Chuffin 'ull Chuff Yarkshire Bloody Chuff Duck, Booferry Puddin' Chuff Chuff!
Nade: Golden, just Golden, as always Winster. Anything more to say?
Windy: FOOKIN CHUFF DUCKS!
Nade: I hear ya Assman, the fucking A grade material never ceases my friend. I will have it written up and live by tomorrow! Cya Windy! Keep Fresh!
Windy: CHUFF BISCUITS!
Well as you can see controversial stuff. I can see where Nade may have got the wrong end of the stick. You have seen the evidence so we will let you draw your own conclusions to this sorded affair.
Stay tuned for an update on our thoughts at BeaversAgogo on the season so far. We will also try and take a sneak peak into the future and give you our thoughts on how we think the season will pan out. Until then take care, safe in the knowledge that unlike some of the sorry excuse for blogger's out there on the World Wide Web, your dosage of beavers always comes from the horses mouth!
Au Revoir!
I x
Friday 27 February 2009
MATCH REPORT: Pirates Sink the Soon to be PINK
DISGUSTING LAZY HALF ARSED COCK SUCKING ANAL PUMPING MOTHER FUCKING SHIT BASTARD NONCE CUNTS!! I'M GONNA BLOW YOUR MOTHER FUCKING BRAINS OUT, YOU EVER SERVE UP THAT SHOWER OF SHITE AGAIN, ILL MAKE SURE IT'S YOUR GOD DAMN LAST DAY ON THIS PLANET!!!!!
Calm down JAgogo I am trying to type here!
Christ on a bike, we didn't even make it to the match on Tueday. Lord only knows what state JAgogo would be if he'd have had to sit through a humiliating two nothing home defeat to the lowly GAS!
He's still fuming about his Ribeye Steak in Clayton Green coming out Medium when it should have been medium rare!! By the time the police got there he'd tied the manager up in the kitchen with the fire hose, seasoned him up with some Chinese spice and was about to lower him into the deep fat fryer! According to the police reports the situation was not helped by me trying to force the Sous Chefs arm through the penne pasta machine. I desperately need to keep that man (and myself) away from lighter fluid and Gisky cocktails. Jeez its part of our previous parole conditions!!!
However do not fret my friends. As always BeaversAgogo will supply you with the high class enthralling match reporting your eyes have come to expect. As I sit here ferociously fingering the prison Blackberry, it is only a matter of time before our legendary hidebound stand in reporter Jon Hallworth signs in with his nonsensical amazing insights into Tuesdays footballing extravaganza! Wait here he is now...
PB
Hello!
Legendary shot stopper and ludicrously underrated prize fighter Jon Hallworth here. Its an honour again to fill in and do the BeaversAgogo official match report, I am sure they will be back out on their rehabilitation programmes soon.
Tuesday night saw a cracking display of Goalkeeping from two strapping young men in between the sticks for each side. Budtz lived up to his name and enthralled us in the Chaddy End every time he bent over to pick up the ball or take a sip from his lucozade bottle. While Phillips in Bristol goal looked to have an impressively muscely upper body even from where I was sitting and it came as no surprise as he used his manly palms to keep out a Lee Hughes penalty. The second half was a wonderful treat as we could really get up close and examine the Bristol Goalkeeper in more detail and my my what a fine specimin of a young man he is. Budtz let in two at the other end, but it gave us a great chance to see his athleticism as he spralled across the floor in the Oldham box. It finished Oldham 0 Bristol Rovers 2.
Big John Hallworths Motm: Phillips. A real rigid hard and strong performance between the bristol sticks.
JH
Calm down JAgogo I am trying to type here!
Christ on a bike, we didn't even make it to the match on Tueday. Lord only knows what state JAgogo would be if he'd have had to sit through a humiliating two nothing home defeat to the lowly GAS!
He's still fuming about his Ribeye Steak in Clayton Green coming out Medium when it should have been medium rare!! By the time the police got there he'd tied the manager up in the kitchen with the fire hose, seasoned him up with some Chinese spice and was about to lower him into the deep fat fryer! According to the police reports the situation was not helped by me trying to force the Sous Chefs arm through the penne pasta machine. I desperately need to keep that man (and myself) away from lighter fluid and Gisky cocktails. Jeez its part of our previous parole conditions!!!
However do not fret my friends. As always BeaversAgogo will supply you with the high class enthralling match reporting your eyes have come to expect. As I sit here ferociously fingering the prison Blackberry, it is only a matter of time before our legendary hidebound stand in reporter Jon Hallworth signs in with his nonsensical amazing insights into Tuesdays footballing extravaganza! Wait here he is now...
PB
Hello!
Legendary shot stopper and ludicrously underrated prize fighter Jon Hallworth here. Its an honour again to fill in and do the BeaversAgogo official match report, I am sure they will be back out on their rehabilitation programmes soon.
Tuesday night saw a cracking display of Goalkeeping from two strapping young men in between the sticks for each side. Budtz lived up to his name and enthralled us in the Chaddy End every time he bent over to pick up the ball or take a sip from his lucozade bottle. While Phillips in Bristol goal looked to have an impressively muscely upper body even from where I was sitting and it came as no surprise as he used his manly palms to keep out a Lee Hughes penalty. The second half was a wonderful treat as we could really get up close and examine the Bristol Goalkeeper in more detail and my my what a fine specimin of a young man he is. Budtz let in two at the other end, but it gave us a great chance to see his athleticism as he spralled across the floor in the Oldham box. It finished Oldham 0 Bristol Rovers 2.
Big John Hallworths Motm: Phillips. A real rigid hard and strong performance between the bristol sticks.
JH
Friday 8 August 2008
So have we signed Demar Phillips?
Well?
I am guessing we haven't as I haven't seen any news on this on the web, just that we wanted to sign him and he wanted to sign for us about a week ago. Since then it has all gone quiet. A shame really, because he looked good from what I saw of him on the left wing and may have bought a bit of well needed balance to the team on the left hand side.
Moving on from transfer shenanigans it is time for what is possibly many a fan at Boundary Parks most important decision of the season. Yes that's right folks "Who to Boo?", a tough one this year I am sure you will agree. No stand out candidates this year with the likes of Ricketts gone. However I am sure I am not alone when I say I have a sneaky feeling it is going to be Danny Whittaker. When we snapped him up on a free a sneaky look at his goals from last season got every ones juices flowing. He can hit it with his left and his right, from distance, he must be good! Sadly from what I have seen preseason, and heard off a Vale fan (I know it shocked me too, they do actually have fans), performances like the aforementioned are few and far between. Mr Vale, reckons he puts in a good shift, about 1 in 10 games and for the other 9 he is "beyond shit." Probably the worst type of player you can be with Oldham's faithful vultures baying for blood in the stands! What was he thinking signing for us?
For those of you who are thinking this man doesn't know his boo-boy from his elbow I have constructed a little poll for you to vote for yours down the side.
Now we have got the important issues out of the way maybe its time to discuss a little the expectations for next season. Before the preseason fixtures started I was full of blind optimism as always. The new faces were going to be the missing link and help us walk the league. However, an air of caution has slowly been creeping in. While we have most definitely strengthened the squad and finally seem to have added some depth and fitness, we should not ignore that those teams around us will have been doing the same.
A lack of media attention surrounding the lower leagues tends to lead to fans (me included) making uneducated guesses at the standard of the squads and players of rival teams. We often rate our own players as better than those of the opposition because they are what we know. When we read that Brighton have signed a new left back we think "who?" I am sure their fans will too when they see young Kelvin emerging across the running track.
I am therefore going to make an uneducated guess that both Leeds and Leicester should have the quality to take up the first two places. So it seems that automatic promotion is out of the question this season. Below these two I think this season it is going to be wide open. I can see a rather large chasing pack scrambling to get the 4 play off places that are up for grabs and I am sure we are going to be somewhere within this mix. As long as we are making a sustained challenge for the play offs throughout the season I will continue to give Shez my backing. I am certainly not going to be in the promotion or Shez out camp. Just because we have strengthened preseason does not give us the God given right to steam roller the opposition.
I just hope that the fans get behind the team from the start this year, even if we do not win our first 3 games 5 - 0, as we have our part to play as well. I do have an inkling that by finally moving some home fans into the Rochdale Road End the atmosphere at BP is going to get a much needed lift.
Anyway that's enough prediction bollocks, no man can predict whats going to happen over the course of a football season (apart from maybe the top four in the Premiership). I'm off to shave my brothers head and practice hurling my Danny Whittaker insults at him the LAZY SHIT! BLOODY RUBBISH!
C
I am guessing we haven't as I haven't seen any news on this on the web, just that we wanted to sign him and he wanted to sign for us about a week ago. Since then it has all gone quiet. A shame really, because he looked good from what I saw of him on the left wing and may have bought a bit of well needed balance to the team on the left hand side.
Moving on from transfer shenanigans it is time for what is possibly many a fan at Boundary Parks most important decision of the season. Yes that's right folks "Who to Boo?", a tough one this year I am sure you will agree. No stand out candidates this year with the likes of Ricketts gone. However I am sure I am not alone when I say I have a sneaky feeling it is going to be Danny Whittaker. When we snapped him up on a free a sneaky look at his goals from last season got every ones juices flowing. He can hit it with his left and his right, from distance, he must be good! Sadly from what I have seen preseason, and heard off a Vale fan (I know it shocked me too, they do actually have fans), performances like the aforementioned are few and far between. Mr Vale, reckons he puts in a good shift, about 1 in 10 games and for the other 9 he is "beyond shit." Probably the worst type of player you can be with Oldham's faithful vultures baying for blood in the stands! What was he thinking signing for us?
For those of you who are thinking this man doesn't know his boo-boy from his elbow I have constructed a little poll for you to vote for yours down the side.
Now we have got the important issues out of the way maybe its time to discuss a little the expectations for next season. Before the preseason fixtures started I was full of blind optimism as always. The new faces were going to be the missing link and help us walk the league. However, an air of caution has slowly been creeping in. While we have most definitely strengthened the squad and finally seem to have added some depth and fitness, we should not ignore that those teams around us will have been doing the same.
A lack of media attention surrounding the lower leagues tends to lead to fans (me included) making uneducated guesses at the standard of the squads and players of rival teams. We often rate our own players as better than those of the opposition because they are what we know. When we read that Brighton have signed a new left back we think "who?" I am sure their fans will too when they see young Kelvin emerging across the running track.
I am therefore going to make an uneducated guess that both Leeds and Leicester should have the quality to take up the first two places. So it seems that automatic promotion is out of the question this season. Below these two I think this season it is going to be wide open. I can see a rather large chasing pack scrambling to get the 4 play off places that are up for grabs and I am sure we are going to be somewhere within this mix. As long as we are making a sustained challenge for the play offs throughout the season I will continue to give Shez my backing. I am certainly not going to be in the promotion or Shez out camp. Just because we have strengthened preseason does not give us the God given right to steam roller the opposition.
I just hope that the fans get behind the team from the start this year, even if we do not win our first 3 games 5 - 0, as we have our part to play as well. I do have an inkling that by finally moving some home fans into the Rochdale Road End the atmosphere at BP is going to get a much needed lift.
Anyway that's enough prediction bollocks, no man can predict whats going to happen over the course of a football season (apart from maybe the top four in the Premiership). I'm off to shave my brothers head and practice hurling my Danny Whittaker insults at him the LAZY SHIT! BLOODY RUBBISH!
C
Tuesday 5 August 2008
Greetings from Swanage and Preseason.
For Christ sakes...leave it man, shes only 13 years old!
Sorry about that chaps, P.Beavers here, we're down on our annual summer pilgrimage to Swanage and J.Agogo's whiskey abused mind is making him try his luck (force himself upon) the the local girls down the penny arcades! Of course it wouldn't usually matter but the police have apparently said one more strike and he's on the REGISTER!
Now im sure you all must have seen that after hanging up me boots I went Stateside with JAgogo, and while he was banging his way round the many goals of the MLS, I followed my own "banging" dream, entering into the wonderfully seedy world of hardcore pornography. Despite my expert performances in Paul Does Beavers 1 - 7, it wasn't meant to be and the work slowly dried up. Undettered though ive headed back to England even more determined than before, and I'm about to star in my own comeback film Cum on Oldham. Its a jolly old tale, about a "hard" young footballer, joining the local pro side, getting to "grips" with the local women folk. I'm sure its going to be a right old smash at the box office.
We were going to give the Swanage trip a miss this year and do a whole pre-season round up, but the first game we attended against Derby bored us to tears, and JAgogo got chucked out at half time, however as with every preseason we did learn something new and this was our take from the game:
Sorry about that chaps, P.Beavers here, we're down on our annual summer pilgrimage to Swanage and J.Agogo's whiskey abused mind is making him try his luck (force himself upon) the the local girls down the penny arcades! Of course it wouldn't usually matter but the police have apparently said one more strike and he's on the REGISTER!
Now im sure you all must have seen that after hanging up me boots I went Stateside with JAgogo, and while he was banging his way round the many goals of the MLS, I followed my own "banging" dream, entering into the wonderfully seedy world of hardcore pornography. Despite my expert performances in Paul Does Beavers 1 - 7, it wasn't meant to be and the work slowly dried up. Undettered though ive headed back to England even more determined than before, and I'm about to star in my own comeback film Cum on Oldham. Its a jolly old tale, about a "hard" young footballer, joining the local pro side, getting to "grips" with the local women folk. I'm sure its going to be a right old smash at the box office.
We were going to give the Swanage trip a miss this year and do a whole pre-season round up, but the first game we attended against Derby bored us to tears, and JAgogo got chucked out at half time, however as with every preseason we did learn something new and this was our take from the game:
- Boundary Park looks a million times better without the Lookers Stand
- It cost 50p for a 5 minute session on the Derby Exercise Bike
- The new luminous yellow away kit makes JAgogo violently sick when he has been consuming large quantities of lighter fluid during the first 45 minutes.
- Been violently sick gets you ejected out of the stadium
P.Beavers
Thursday 24 July 2008
WELCOME...
Hello there!
On behalf of our founders P.Beavers & J.Agogo I would like to welcome you all to our wonderful site. With contribuitions from myself, Messrs Beavers & Agogo and a host of our other exciting chums we hope to take you on a most spectacular web journey, taking in our beloved Oldham Athletic, the beautiful game we all hold dear, along with anything else we decide is worthy of your perusal! Enjoy...
C
On behalf of our founders P.Beavers & J.Agogo I would like to welcome you all to our wonderful site. With contribuitions from myself, Messrs Beavers & Agogo and a host of our other exciting chums we hope to take you on a most spectacular web journey, taking in our beloved Oldham Athletic, the beautiful game we all hold dear, along with anything else we decide is worthy of your perusal! Enjoy...
C
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